Relationships start off so well, don't they? The two of you get together and are so madly in love that you feel nothing could ever tear the two of you apart. Then...life happens. Before you know it, things have taken a turn for the worse and you are left asking yourself "how can I save our relationship?"
There are two important facts to keep in mind as you move forward. First, you are not alone. Countless couples have gone through the same problem, and the lessons they have learned can help you to save your relationship. Second, the vast majority of relationships, no matter how bad they may seem at the time, can be saved. You have to really want to work things out, as it will take effort on your part to make it happen, but it can be done. If your partner is also interested in saving the relationship, then you will be at an advantage. How do you find out if your partner wants to save the relationship, or even if they think it's in trouble at all? There is only one solution: you have to have a conversation with them. The ability to have a good conversation is one of the characteristics of every successful relationship. If you dread the idea of having a heart-to-heart talk, then you have just identified one potential problem. Either way, you need to talk to each other. The secret to effective communication isn't how well you talk, but how well you listen. Remember, listening is not "hearing" somebody's voice while waiting for "your turn" to say what you want to say.
Treating each other respect is another major key to effective communication. The reason respect is so important is that it develops a sense of openness. It is next to impossible to positively answer the question of "how can I save our relationship" if there is no openness or trust when talking to each other. Practice treating your partner with respect and you will star to see an improvement right away. Sometimes a relationship is in so much trouble that you really can't save it on your own.
Getting help from a relationship counselor is a good idea at this point. A counselor will listen to you and your partner, and then work on strategies for helping the two of you work things out. Some counselors will see each of you separately, and then see you as a couple. This gives each of you the opportunity to discuss things that you may feel uncomfortable talking about in front of your partner.
However you decide to answer the question of "how can I save our relationship", it's good to remember that the vast majority of relationships can be saved. Yes, it will take some effort, but it will be more than worth it when the two of you are happy again.
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